Religion has been a matter needing urgent attention from me for a long time but ever more so recently. This is not because my religious attitude has undergone any drastic change but because it has started bugging me like a mosquito just out of reach but always buzzing nearby.
Coming to a brief history of my religiosity, one could say that I have gone from strictly religious to moderately religious to non-religious due to exasperation to religious in the karmic sense to doubtful to I gotta find a solution for this problem.
Now don’t get me wrong, I go to church every Sunday, almost. Last month I missed twice, once on the day after my b’day due to high fever from over exertion and second because I was talking to a duffer the previous night and woke up really late. The first reason definitely valid in any court of justice, the second equally invalid in most.
So I have entered a phase of my life where I am developing this irksome habit of trying to understand everything that I or anyone else do. This habit of trying to rationalise every action or thought, in order to find a plausible explanation has me moving away from that what can be termed as ‘blind faith’. But this comes into serious trouble when opposed by an equal and opposite force- my inherent dislike towards thinking too deeply about anything. Because thinking too deep brings out only one reaction, which is, things are the way they are because they are that way. People behave in certain ways because their circumstances or surroundings have moulded them to react or act in that particular way, What might be irrational to me might be perfectly rational to them and so on..
